While I was walking the pups this evening, we came across beautiful bushes of fluffy peonies (or, as my dog Henry knows them: “PEE-ON-MEs”). Magenta peonies, powder-pink peonies… and gorgeously fragrant white peonies.
They reminded me of a childhood experiment involving a peony bud – I was alone a lot, but don’t feel sad… look how normal I turned out! I clipped a peony bud from the bushes in my parents’ backyard, popped it in a bag, and put it in the basement freezer. The answer to my question (“will it bloom when it thaws?”) would provide me with first-hand, non-scientific data that would later make me go “pfft” when people started talking about cryonics.
The bud did thaw. It did actually bloom (and very quickly) in the glass of water. But it also rotted at warp-speed. So I’m thinking that if those cryonically frozen bodies/heads are ever thawed, they’ll be at room temperature just long enough for maggots to start reanimating them from within.
I’ve labelled my baggie ‘pivoine’ to give it some elegance, and dated it. It’s now in the freezer. I expect that, just as with my initial experiment approximately 35 years ago, I will forget about it. So I’m going to put a reminder on my phone to reanimate my peony at the end of August and watch it rot before my very eyes – which will be very apropos how I feel about the end of summer and the prospect of another 8-9 months of shit weather to come….
I will document this for you so that you, too, can participate in what I consider to be a good time. I’m sure this has nothing to do with why I’m single.