Tag Archives: muffins

Muffin Butt

Despite antihistamines, my sinus cavities hurt like the Dickens this summer.   Not sure what’s going on, but I suspect there’s a correlation between them being constantly agitated and the inflamed blood vessels in my right eye.   So I’m boiling water to steam my head over hot water and a dab of VapoRub, that seems to help.
While I’m waiting for electricity to work its magic on the city’s water, let me just share the last thing I’m thinking about before I hit the hay tonight: that is, how sad/disgusted I was this morning when I realized that I no longer need a belt to keep up my pants… my loaf-top (’cause we’ve gone beyond muffins over here) has poached that job. And I really need to go knicker shopping because if I were to get into an accident, I would be mortified if a first responder had to see my loaf-top muffin-butt – see my definition below, which is COMPLETELY different from how younger people with perkier bodies define it.
muffin-butt: n. the spilled over excess of bodily tissue (a.k.a.: fat, flab, etc…) due to the compression of one’s size-too-small knickers on one’s size-too-big butt
With these petty thoughts disturbing my mind, I hear the click of the kettle going off – the water is ready.  I can only hope that tomorrow will be filled with happier sinus cavities and better dietary choices… or simple acceptance of how all this mid-40s body shit is going down, like a melted candle in the sun.